keywriter.

devotion.
two.

You are the one with vision, and you are vision. You know my depths and you understand what clings to me and prevents me from knowing you. You know why i do not know. Even when my eyes lack the perception of this, you are at work within me, defeating hindrances; and so please show me. Help me to see myself as through your eyes — give me what glimpses i can bear — and teach me of my nature so that i may become more aware of grace in your nature.

Help me to be honest with myself and with others; i even attempt to deceive you at times, wishing to forget that you cannot be deceived, for you have vision. I try to place you according to my own desire, so that i can do as i please: i attempt to conceive of you, wishing to forget that you cannot be conceived, for to me you are a vision. Myself and my eyes, i am limited. When i am far from you, ashamed of my limits, i wish to be greater than i truly am, and so i am dishonest. In my effort to enlarge myself i constrict myself all the more, by seeking to be what i am not. Only you are great, only you are greatness. That i can be free in greatness is true, but only, Lord, in the greatness of you, and only if i myself submit to your truth for me. Freedom for myself is found in the greatness that is unimaginably greater than myself, and i myself am not at all great.

Still i seek to paint myself so. I seek to imitate you through my own means instead of submitting to your fingers as you shape me in your image. You are infinitely more skilled a shaper than i — you who have shaped all shapes — and yet i resist still. To you i am false, seeking other boasts and seeking to lift myself up. Why should i be anything but honest? For me, to be honest is to be humble, and my pride permits me neither. But you are greater than my pride, and you find it out before my awareness of it, before all time as i imagine time, and you will defeat it, though it seems to defeat me in my search for you.

You are true. You are the honest revealer, you are the greatness to which i have given myself. In you are not found lies to puff me up, and in you are not found the same lies which bind me where i stand. You crush lies and draw me to yourself when i seek you, for you desire us to desire you.

[drift]
[previous] [next]
[devotion home]