keywriter.

devotion.
nineteen.

Four in nine days and i wonder can i do anything to stop another one tomorrow? I pray, i pray, what else can i do?
Peace they say Peace.
When there is no peace.
I would swallow peace whole and i do, in you. But looking across and to my heart i see no peace. And where are my words? My words die as children in the streets celebrating the feast of lots, a day of liberation from the destroyer... Does the destroyer draw lots now to find the next target, i wonder? The next district? The next bus line? The next human being?

My words die as i push and pull each breath through the warzone in my lungs. Are you breathing through the war zone now? You breathe and the cities melt... and here i melt and perhaps it is best i melt for you but these explosions... these are not for you, though some would believe that they are. These are what we do when we decide that we control you, that you want only what we want.

This is what we do to ourselves. My words die against the walls we build against ourselves... but please, Abba, do not let my prayer die. Let me not forget as i sit in this windy tunnel that you were born in the exploding land. You breathe in this land always. You know the smell of this killing and you do not love it. And here — for what we do is everywhere we are — the concerned officer must stop the music in the station for fear of pickpocketers preying on listeners, and the accordion player sulks away.

By this subway track i sit down and weep, for some of the music has stopped. Let me not forget, let me not forget, let my prayer live. Let me not harden my face in the wind, let me not shut my eyes, let me not cease even my stream of dying words, for their remains are all i have to remember as prayers pass to you, and i do not want to forget.

And let me rejoice, for you do destroy the destroyer. You are the only faithful one, you are the one who breathes life even in the midst of the exploding and melting nations. Your breath is why i breathe now, why i have not released hope, why i still love us. For you, even now, still love us.

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